Awake
by Dragon's Daughter 1980
Summary: A thousand stars in the sky above them, she is his gravity. How do you say goodbye? [Missing Scenes]
1. Chapter 1

**Awake**

By Dragon's Daughter 1980

Rating: T

Spoiler: Post-'Brutus'

Pairing: Larry/Megan

Disclaimer: Other than being a devoted fan, I have nothing to do with Numb3rs. I'm just borrowing a few characters and I'll put them back in mint condition. This time, at least. I am also borrowing the lyrics of "Awake" by Josh Groban from his newest album of the same name.

_

* * *

A beautiful and blinding morning_

_The world outside begins to breathe_

_See clouds arriving without warning_

_I need you here to shelter me_

_And I know that only time will tell us how_

_To carry on without each other_

* * *

Larry Fleinhardt opened his eyes and blinked, disoriented by what he perceived was a sudden change in his surroundings. Neither the walls of steam tunnels nor those of the hotel room, as well as he could recall, were painted a soft rose. Furthermore, neither of those temporary residences had sounded so…domestic. The steam tunnels had let out sporadic bursts of warm vapor during the night while the hotel, decent as it was, was located next to a busy avenue that had continuous traffic. All he could hear now was a car door slamming shut before an engine started somewhere outside of the room he was in. He was used to sleeping in less-than-comfortable accommodations, so the fluffy pillows, firm mattress, warm comforter, and the woman curled up in his arms was quite a change from his rou — wait, woman? He blinked in the early morning sunshine and forced his mind to rewind through the events of last night.

He had invited Megan to a late-night picnic in the middle of a grassy expanse of land, one of CalSci's many secluded areas — the reasoning being that even the greatest minds needed to connect with Nature on a basic level at some point in time after spending hours indoors. They had chatted softly about his upcoming mission throughout dinner and then, afterwards, lay down together to stare up at the clear sky above them. The conversation had taken to a gentle turn into a discussion about their relationship and its future, her supportive and loving words not quite hiding the pain she felt at their looming separation. Somewhere in trying to comfort her, the relaxed mood had shifted into an unexpected, though not unwelcome, tension.

After she kissed him, the two of them managed to make their way to her car and to her apartment, smiling at and teasing each other like a pair of smitten teenagers as they made their way up the stairs. The teasing became passionate kisses once she unlocked her front door. Their laughter had stopped as soon as they crossed the threshold of 'her area' otherwise known as her bedroom, which had been strictly-off limits to him before, and their activities had rapidly become far less about who could drive who to distraction and more about the mutual sharing of unbridled passion and love.

She shifted slightly in his arms, sighing quietly before she settled back down. He tugged the white comforter back over her bare shoulder, watching her peaceful expression as she slept. Not for the first time, he wondered how he ever won the attentions and love of such a beautiful woman. Resisting the urge to run a finger across the smooth skin of her cheek, fearing that he would wake her, he contented himself with watching the sunlight touch her face in a light caress, highlighting her incredible strength and fragility. She needed him as much as he needed her.

He sighed heavily, lying back down besides her, a few strands of her honey-colored hair mere centimeters from his face. Larry gently tucked the strands behind her ear before he put an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. The faint scent of her lavender shampoo washed over him and he closed his eyes. How could he do this? How could he tell the woman he loved — yes, he could confess it now to himself — that he would be leaving her in pursuit of a childhood dream? Would she understand that he wanted to do this with every fiber of his being, but at the same time, he didn't want to cause her any pain?

He opened his eyes, trying to pull himself out of his brooding mood before she noticed. A part of him said yes, she would understand completely, but another part of him fretted that she wouldn't. This was just so new; he didn't know what he was supposed to do to say goodbye to her, if he even should. How was he supposed to act? How could he just leave her, when it was clear that she needed him? She had been running a difficult caseload for the past few months, what was to say that while he was gone that she wouldn't suffer burnout? She wasn't weak, but she had made it clear before that she needed his support to balance out her life just as he needed her to do the same for him. He was her refuge from her work, from the cruel world. How could he just leave her?

She stirred in his arms, a little yawn of contentment coming from her as she woke up. There was a moment of stillness when she realized the situation she was in, but then Megan turned in his embrace to face him, a shy smile lighting her face as sleep cleared from her soft gray eyes.

"Good morning," she said, her happiness evident even in her voice.

"Good morning," he replied quietly. Reading his troubled expression, her eyes darkened with concern, "What is it?"

"Nothing…" he told her, trying to keep his worries from her. With a gently skeptical look, she continued to stare at him, waiting patiently for an answer. His noble intentions caved under that look.

"I… I am ecstatic at the opportunity before me…" He failed to notice that he was gesturing to the air as he spoke, "I've dreamed of this since I was a child, of going into the outer cosmos. I told Charles once that if I ever had the chance, I would do it in a heartbeat. And I do want to go, with all my heart. I've followed through with all my plans, clearing my life of distractions. My house, my furniture, my belongings, my car…I should have no regrets or worries, binding me to—" His mind abruptly caught up with his mouth and he flushed with horror. He did not just imply that he thought of her as a burden, did he? Good Heavens, he had, didn't he? '_You've done it now, Fleinhardt; you've messed up your only chance at happiness by insulting the only woman, besides your mother, who loves you for who you are._'

Megan blinked at his sudden stop and tilted her head inquisitively. She prompted him gently, "Yes?"

"I — I didn't mean it that way."

"I know you didn't," she said, a soft smile on her lips. "It's okay," she told him, "I know." She leaned forward to kiss him gently on the cheek before drawing back. "You didn't want anyone to worry and you didn't want anyone or anything to distract you when you go. I understand."

"But you're not…you never will be a distraction for me," he searched her eyes desperately, trying to explain himself. "I never imagined this would happen, but I have no regrets. And I'm sorry if I ever gave the impression—" He stopped when her hand gently covered his mouth. She smiled broadly, and moved her hand to stroke his cheek, "I have no regrets either."


	2. Chapter 2

**Awake**

By Dragon's Daughter 1980

Rating: K

Spoiler: Post-'Brutus'

Pairing: Larry/Megan

Disclaimer: Other than being a devoted fan, I have nothing to do with Numb3rs or with Josh Groban. Thanks for the reviews!

_

* * *

So keep me awake to memorize you _

_Give me more time to feel this way_

_We can't stay like this forever_

_But I can have you next to me today_

* * *

"Come on," she said, pulling playfully on his arm, "this will be fun." He made a small noise of reluctance — the incessant chatter of crowds tended to interfere with his thought processes — but he allowed her to lead him through the holly-decorated gate into the massive Winter Festival nevertheless. Normally, the summer fairgrounds would be deserted after the end of the summer tourist season, but come the day after Thanksgiving and the desolate property would transform itself into a mix of a sprawling holiday bazaar and vibrant winter celebration. People swarmed around them, chatting happily and carrying shopping bags. The energetic buzz of the holidays filled the air, a freshness of spirit that cheered up even the most exhausted of people for a little while. 

The area was crammed with local vendors of every kind, all there to entice shoppers with their exotic wares and ordinary fare. Most of the people there were local artisans who made their living off of tourists, but displayed their best works for this fair. Everything from fragile glass figurines to watercolor paintings to carved linen chests were being sold and bought as holiday gifts. Other stalls sold hot drinks and food for the crowds to keep them warm in the cool weather. Larry saw one vendor selling homemade fruitcakes, which Megan joked "might be a federal crime." When she had made that comment, it was the first time he had seen her smile reach her eyes this week.

Larry didn't know much about the case she had been working on for the past month, but he knew it was one that haunted her. The few nights that she had spent in his arms had been ones of restless slumber, and he suspected that she was an expert in lying awake at night without his knowledge. Charles refused to talk about the particulars after he had been called to consult on the case and had bulked when Larry had offered to help. Instead, his longtime friend had shaken his head and told him, "Larry, I think Megan's going to need someone who's not going to ask questions."

So for the past month, he had not asked any questions about how her days had been because the answer was already clear. When she came to him, he simply greeted her at the doorway with a gentle kiss, guided her to the couch and told her to rest while he prepared dinner. Most times, she fell into an exhausted sleep, one that he was reluctant to wake her from to eat. Other times, she simply sat in silence, her mind clearly still embroiled in her work. When he felt that the silence was becoming oppressive to both of them, he began to talk about his work and the random events in the life of an academic at CalSci. However, he avoided all mention about his upcoming liftoff; he did not think it wise to remind her that he would be leaving her soon. Megan needed the belief that he would be at her side for the foreseeable future, and he did not wish to destroy that pillar of her sanity.

Today, when she had come home, he had expected her to continue their routine of a quiet dinner followed by brief idle chatter before collapsing into bed. Instead, she had stepped into their shared apartment and told him that they were going out. He had briefly contemplated refusing to let her go when she was in such an exhausted state, but then he had seen her eyes and he knew. She needed this impulsive night to help her forget, and she wanted him to be there to share it with her. He agreed, quickly setting aside the dinner preparations and donning his winter jacket for the cool weather. Just before they left the tenement, he saw her place her service weapon and badge away in the lockbox that sat in the drawer of the carved mahogany hallway table and lock it.

Now, they were here at the Winter Festival, browsing through the stalls while sipping hot chocolate, where she was just another ordinary person out with her beau on a beautiful, clear night. They discussed the merits of buying some of the antiques that they had found in several of the stalls, as well as whether oil or watercolors paintings fit her décor better. She hadn't brought much — just a few gifts for their friends and for her family, estranged as she was from them. He had also brought a few presents for the people in his life, but there was one that he had not formally purchased. Not yet, anyway.

Darkness had slowly fallen as they had browsed the festival. Strands of lights and portable electric old-fashioned lampposts lit up the shopping area, not to mention the other sources of illumination that the vendors themselves had brought. Megan smiled tiredly at him as they walked, her exhaustion winning out over her enthusiasm. He spotted an empty iron-wrought bench and quickly led her through the crowds to lay claim to it. She sat down with a quiet sigh of relief and put the few bags she was carrying onto the bench. He did the same before sitting down next to her, watching in silence the crowds that moved past them. She rested her body against his and he could just tell how tired she felt.

"Darling," he said quietly, placing a quick kiss in her hair, "I'm going to get us something to eat, all right?"

She nodded, closing her eyes, her fingers reluctantly slipping out of his hand. He stood slowly, biting his lip since he didn't truly want to leave her alone for even a second — she looked so vulnerable — but he needed to get some nourishment into her as well as to run a special, private errand of his own. He knew that she didn't need him there to protect her. With a quiet sigh, Larry wrenched himself away from her side and allowed the crowd to sweep him away from her sight.

First he retraced their steps to a glassmaker's stall, where a particular piece had caught his eye. Or perhaps, he should accurately say, pieces. The white tent that housed the glassmaker's display was plain, giving no hint to the manmade beauty within save for a sun-catcher that hung on a sturdy metal pole right beside the entrance. Inside, whimsical wind chimes, vibrant sun-catchers, even a few small delicate stained windows hung on the walls. Small figurines, vases, miniatures, and jewelry were in traveling display cases laid out on tables scattered tastefully in the sheltered area for maximum flow.

The elderly craftsman smiled benevolently when Larry stepped into the quiet tent; in a seemingly stroke of luck, the most recent customers had just vacated the area and the newest browsers had yet to arrive. It saved him from having to purchase this personal gift in front of an audience.

"You're the professor," said the seller with confidence, reaching underneath his makeshift counter. Larry nodded, pulling out his wallet, "Yes, um, do you take credit?"

"Yes," the man answered, lifting a tastefully carved wooden jewelry box from its hiding place. A classical flower motif of understated elegance twined itself at the edges and corners of the mahogany wood. Its lid was open and Larry could see his purchases carefully nestled in cotton within.

The miniature sun-catcher with a mare galloping through a meadow was beautiful even without the sunlight filtering through it; he hope that was inconspicuous enough that she could hang it on her cubicle wall at work. Next to it was a small round paperweight, its clear shape surrounding a frail glass flower bouquet made up of lilies, violets, roses and forget-me-nots, shielding it from potential breakage. While he was an amateur in fashion, he had also selected a pair of earrings and barrettes that he thought would please her. The earrings were strands of small crystals that sparked even in the artificial light. The barrettes were simplistic in style, but were decorated with a flower motif of intertwined lilies-of-the-valley and bleeding hearts, sparkling with white crystals embedded in the silver and pearl design.

"A gift for a lady friend?" the craftsman asked, displaying the wares for Larry's approval. He nodded, pleased with how well they looked outside of the display case. It had been quite a maneuver on his part to attract the seller's attention to each of the items without drawing Megan's notice. Fortunately, she had been engrossed with studying the paperweights before finally choosing one for her third oldest sister Caroline.

"Yes," he replied, sliding his credit card across the table.

"I'm sure she'll be delighted with them," the older man replied, ringing up the purchase and handing Larry back his card. "My daughters do good work. Would you like me to wrap it? Or would a plain box and bag do?"

"I would—" Larry began, and then changed his mind, "A plain box and bag." When he had first seen the items, his first thought was to give them to Megan as a Christmas present, to ask Charles or Amita to hold onto the gift for him until the twenty-fifth, but now he was sure that he wanted to give them to her soon, as a reminder of tonight. The other man nodded, pulling out a small cardboard box with a padded interior just the right side for a music box to fit snugly within. Larry's eyes widened when he realized that the craftsman intended to give him the carved box gratis. The seller smiled at the panicked look on Larry's face, "This is something that my son won't mind me giving to you."

"No, please, I—"

The man shook his head in a grandfatherly manner as he continued to package the carved box containing Larry's purchases, "I've sold a lot of trinkets and gifts to lovers and husbands in my lifetime, young man, and I can tell when a relationship is going to last." He nodded toward one of the display cases in the far corner. "The two of you caught my eye when you walked in. I saw you hovering by her side earlier, giving her support and space at the same time. She loves you, you know, I can tell by the way she looks at you. I bet she smiles more when she's around you, doesn't she?" Larry wondered if this man was simply wise or had nefarious intents; he didn't seem like a stalker, but this was venturing into the unreal. The other man smiled, as if reading his thoughts, "She does, doesn't she? The two of you probably don't fight as much as my Nathaniel and his Katrina do, but you do love each other. I know it. Think of this…think of it as an early wedding gift."

Larry's eyes went wide. '_Marriage?!_ _We haven't even adjusted to living together! And even that's possibly temporary…_'

The man laughed, pushing the now sealed package towards Larry, "You'll marry her, take an old man's word for it."

"Uh, I, um, thank you…" In pure shock, Larry picked up the package and walked out of the vendor's stall. Almost on autopilot, he walked toward one of the food tents, hoping to buy a few warm fluffy sweet sticky buns from a local Asian bakery that had temporarily set up shop. He shielded the box from being jostled by other shoppers, but beyond that, he paid very little attention to the crowds around him.

Larry could answer with absolute certainty that he liked Megan, and had liked her for some time. He knew that their relationship was evolving into an entity that was beyond structured complexity, and judging from his heart, it was a change that he did not fear. Much.

But did he love her? Truly, deeply love her? Enough to take the risk and ask her to change her name, to spend the rest of her life with him, to watch him grow old while she was still youthful? For some reason, he knew that Megan would answer most whole-heartedly in the affirmative to all of his questions. Early as they were in their relationship, he felt that she would say 'yes' if he ever proposed to her, and that she would wipe away all his fears of inadequacy with a simple look.

"Sir?" asked the baker's assistant over the counter. "What would you like?" Pulled abruptly out of his thoughts, he ordered a few of the pastries and buns in the glass display case in front of him. As he paid for the food and received another box in return, his mind returned to the issue at hand.

Well, it was a bit soon to be contemplating marriage, wasn't it? They were still getting to know each other and he was in no mood to rush things, simply because he was going on an extended absence for half a year. Yes, he cared deeply about her, but marriage was a question that would have to wait until he returned from the outer cosmos to be answered. Wondering about their potential future together, he wandered by the hot chocolate vendor again to buy drinks for them both before making his way back to the bench where he had left her.

The problem was, he seemed to have misplaced both bench and paramour. This was not good. Then, like a ship in the harbor spotting the lighthouse amidst the thick, brooding fog, he heard her voice calling out to him over the crowds.

"Larry? Is that food?" she asked, smiling slightly at him as he approached her. He nodded and handed her the box of warm baked goods, "I know it's not the most nourishing of dinners…"

"Oh!" she smiled happily when she saw the sticky buns, and then tugged him down to sit beside her. He complied, slipping the box into the closest bag at hand. Megan nodded up at the sky, "Look. Isn't it beautiful?"

He smiled up at the star-sprinkled sky, visible away from the stronger city lights, "Yes. They are."

"Can you teach me a few of them?" she asked, with a shy sideways glance at him. He nodded, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to his side. They both looked up at the night sky together, his free hand pointing out the constellations for her to see.

"Now, over there, is the Ursa Major and underneath it—"

"Is the Little Dipper—"

"In lay terms, yes, they would be the Big and Little Dipper. The Ursa Minor has the northern pole star contained within. If you look…right…there. That is Polaris."

"Constant north," she said wistfully.

"Actually, the commonly-known 'North Star' rotates among a set of stars. Polaris is the current one, but eventually it will rotate to Thuban and Vega—"

"Sounds exotic—"

"Ah, Thuban is within Draco, the dragon. It was the northern pole star in the BCEs, the most recent beings the 1900s."

"In the twentieth century?"

"Ah, no, I should have probably said 1900s BCE. Then it was replaced by Kochab which should be…roughly…here."

As the astronomy lesson continued, he felt her relax next to him, resting her head on his shoulder as he talked, her eyes avidly following his hand gesturing to the night sky. He himself felt fatigue began to creep upon his consciousness, but he fought it for a little while longer, just to see the starlight reflected in her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Awake**

By Dragon's Daughter 1980

Rating: K

Spoiler: Post-'Brutus'

Pairing: Larry/Megan

Disclaimer: Other than being a devoted fan, I have nothing to do with Numb3rs or Josh Groban. Happy New Year!

_

* * *

If I could make these moments endless_

_If I could stop the winds of change_

_If we just keep our eyes wide open_

_Then everything would stay the same_

_And I know that only time will tell me how_

_We'll carry on without each other_

* * *

"Look," she said, pointing at the chestnut mare and her foal cantering across the grassy meadow, "Aren't they beautiful?" The rest of the herd was grazing and a few yearlings were galloping around the perimeter of the large pasture.

"Indeed," he agreed, his eyes focused not on the equestrian mammals, but on her. She was in a white blouse and red skirt that stood out vividly against the white picket fence that she was currently leaning on. A small hand-woven bag rested against the fence post. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun that rested at the nape of her neck. For once this week, her soft gray eyes were content and she looked rested. Oh, the weary look on her face had not disappeared, and he suspected that it never would, not as long as she held her job, but the expression was less pronounced than the day before. Her posture was relaxed as she enjoyed herself and he was glad for that. Her caseload was increasing, rather than diminishing, and he knew, from Charles, that she was nearing some degree of burnout.

Apparently the Assistant Director had seen circumstances that way as well since he put Megan off-duty again for the weekend — something that Larry suspected Don had insured would happen. On Friday afternoon, Charles had appeared in his office to pass on a message from his brother. Confused as to why the elder Eppes son would be seeking his advice as opposed to his own younger brother's, Charles had then proceeded to say that "Don told me to tell you that Megan has the weekend completely off. She's not expected back at work at all until Monday at the earliest." The younger professor had then given Larry a questioning look, waiting for him to explain. Instead of doing so, the older man had looked at his watch and excused himself to teach his Physics 101 class.

Gathering his belongings, he had immediately left CalSci after his last class to find her curled up on living room sofa, looking exhausted and utterly vulnerable in her slumber, her gun and badge placed on the coffee table. He had been loath to do so, but he gently woke her up and told her to pack a bag. When she had wearily asked why — another alarming sign, since she had always been enthusiastic about his surprise gateways these past few weeks — he had simply kissed her on the cheek and told her to go pack. She did not even try to tease an answer out of him. That was when he knew they had to make this trip, those term papers be damned. While he waited for her to gather her clothes and necessities, he made several quick phone calls before going to pack his own bags.

Because of the distance involved, Larry had chosen to take her car, letting her sleep in the front passenger seat as he navigated the highways and roads out of the city and past suburbia. It took a bit of work finding their destination, but the GPS system helped him avoid getting completely lost. He only took three wrong turns and made it to the sprawling, secluded ranch before nightfall. He had planned for this short retreat from the demands of their life for weeks, but it had kept being delayed by work, both his and hers. Fortunately, the proprietors understood the circumstances and promised to retain his deposit and reservation without charge so long as he called and informed them in advance of his arrival.

Megan had looked at him in sleepy confusion when he woke her up, disoriented by the change in flora and architecture of her surroundings. Once she realized where they were though, she smiled gratefully and allowed him to help her out of the car. Just being there, surrounded by towering trees and acres of seemingly untouched land was enough to bring some of her vibrant spirit back to her.

Though tired, she was as graceful as ever as she moved to help him pick up their luggage, which he unsuccessfully attempted to persuade her from doing. One of the proprietors, standing on the front porch to welcome them, had laughed softly as she waited for them to come within arm's reach. The woman was a friend of her family's housekeeper, and was exceedingly thoughtful when it came to the youngest Reeves and the man who accompanied her. The silver-haired woman had ushered them inside to eat a warm, homemade dinner before sending them straight up to bed. In the morning, they had awakened naturally to find a hot, freshly cooked brunch waiting from them in the dining room.

Megan had first brought him here to this half training ground, half free-roaming ranch during the summer as a 'thank you' for taking her to an antiques car show in the city. They had spent their week wandering the premises, chatting at times, but mostly walking in comfortable silence. Once he had adjusted to his natural concerns about staying in close proximity to equines for long periods of time, she had taught him the basics of horse grooming. To his surprise, he found it rather soothing…when he wasn't concerned about being kicked by a powerful hind leg. But he had also discovered that the shadows in her eyes faded with every stroke of the brush as she cleaned a black yearling's coat of dirt and sweat.

Watching her smile now as the young foal pranced up to the fence, searching for sugar cubes to eat, he wondered briefly if Don somehow knew about the long-standing weekend plans Megan and he had before deciding it wasn't a priority issue to ponder over. She was happy, and that was what mattered.

She turned to him, her earrings catching the light as she did so. The miniature crystals burst into a rainbow of colors, dancing across the pale skin of her neck, and catching the attention of the foal, who promptly began to sniff curiously at the little waltzing beams of light in the grass.

"Larry," she said quietly, "there's something I wanted you to have." He stepped closer to her.

"You don't need—" he began, but stopped at the look on her face. This was something that was for i_them/i_, not just him. Her smile was a little shy as she reached down to pick up her bag. She laughed freely when the foal, having determined the source of the lights, stuck its nose through the fence and snorted into her hair. He smiled and bent at the waist, his hand reaching out for hers, but she shook her head, gently turning down the offer of assistance. The foal nickered in protest, putting its head over the railing and attempting to nip Megan's blouse. The couple moved out of foal-range to talk, one of his hands resting gently on her elbow.

Reaching to the bag, she pulled out a small rectangular object wrapped in plain brown paper. She handed it to him, saying softly, "I want you to have this." He carefully broke the tape holding the paper together as she continued to speak. "I was meaning to give it to you earlier, but you seemed a little reluctant, and I don't want to take this too fast, for you or for me. I know it's not professionally done, and there are some others that you can choose from. Anyway…I just wanted you to have it, at least. I know you probably can't take it with you, but maybe—"

"This is perfect," he breathed quietly, staring at the unwrapped gift, stopping her flow of words. He looked up at her, "I promise, I will try my best to take this with me."

She smiled at him, but he could see the gratitude of his acceptance and tears of pain in her eyes. Without any self-consciousness, he reached out and pulled her close, still holding the tiny picture frame in one hand.

"Thank you," he whispered in her ear, "I will cherish it."

"I am going to miss you," she confessed, the hitch in her voice the only clue that she was crying. He held onto her tighter and swallowed past the lump in his throat, ignoring the stray tear that fell on his cheek.

"It won't be forever," he told her soothingly, but as he did so, he looked up at the sky through the autumn leaves, '_Please let me make my dream a reality, and then bring me back to her. Let me keep my promise to her. It won't be forever._'


	4. Chapter 4

**Awake**

By Dragon's Daughter 1980

Rating: K

Spoiler: Post-'Brutus'

Pairing: Larry/Megan

Disclaimer: Other than being a devoted fan, I have nothing to do with Numb3rs or Josh Groban. Thanks for reading!

Author's Note: I didn't notice until this morning, but I accidentally switched chapters two and three around yesterday. The problem's been fixed, but if any of you are confused why chapter three is identical to chapter two, that's why. Have a Happy Prosporous New Year!

_

* * *

We'll let tomorrow wait, _

_You're here, right now, with me_

_All my fears just fall away,_

_When you are all I see_

_We can't stay this way forever_

_But I have you here today_

* * *

"It's beautiful," she murmured, leaning against him. The sun was slowly sinking beneath the horizon in front of them, painting the sky with a palette of fiery orange, glorious pink, soft indigo and dark lavender. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him until she was half-reclining, half-sprawled on top of him. He was content to stay there, feeling her head rest on his chest, her loose hair draped across his arm, and her body next to his. She seemed content to rest in his arms, their shared blanket wrapped snugly around them against the encroaching cold night air. 

For the past three days, the two of them had been leisurely traveling along the roads between Los Angeles and Houston. Larry was grateful that Megan was able to take the week off to drive with him to the launch site, and he took care to spend their last few days together as wisely as he knew how.

He made a point to stop at sites that had significance to him, or places that he thought she would be interested in. So he had shown her beautiful rock formations that he had discovered while hiking in the wilderness, the hidden oasis in the middle of the desert. She had smiled when they saw the coyote mother and her young pups traveling past them during a picnic lunch. The tough FBI agent had grasped quietly in surprise when they saw a doe and her nearly-grown fawn grazing one afternoon. With every moment he shared with her, the more convinced he was that he was making the right decision to open himself up completely.

So for tonight, he had brought her a little ways off the beaten path to a spot he had come to once before as a young man. It was a place that he had never shared with anyone before, but he had a feeling that she would appreciate the beauty that he had seen there. The spot was at the top of a canyon, against a small mound of rock, a safe distance away from the edge, but close enough. In broad daylight, it was just another spot along a winding canyon that stretched for miles on end, but at night… it was perfect.

He knew he held this spot in near holiness in his heart. In times of change, he had always been drawn here to take a step back and reevaluate his life. When his father had died, he had come here to mourn a man he never was close to, but had loved just the same. When he began to realize that his emotions for a certain woman in his life were more than just mere 'chemistry,' he had come to gather the courage to make the first steps. When NASA had first approached him about the shuttle mission, he had come to celebrate and to plan his possible future in solitude, covering every contingency he could think of. Save one.

He had led her there most of the way, asking her to close her eyes and let him escort her to the specific spot. Without hesitation, Megan did as he asked, taking his hands in hers. He carefully guided her to the precise spot where he had stood before as a young college student, looking up into the vast darkness of the universe and seeing the multitude of stars scattered across the sky. He wanted to share the spirit of that moment with her, a parting gift, the only one he felt he could give to her.

The vista before them was breath-taking, and he had been delighted to hear her quiet gasp of delight and amazement when she opened her eyes. By the time she had torn her attention away from the natural beauty in front of her to smile at him, Larry had spread a blanket on the sandy soil, tucked up against the rock, and spread out their picnic dinner. The two had sat down to eat in silence, absorbing the splendor around them, hearing the cry of a majestic hawk circling the air, feeling the breeze bush past them, breathing in what felt like pure oxygen. Afterwards, when the dinnerware was packed back into its basket, Megan and Larry curled up together, their backs against the rocks to watch the sunset.

Tomorrow, they would arrive in Houston. There, they would part ways until she returned for the launch three weeks later. But by then, he would be in isolation in preparation for the shuttle flight, so tonight… tonight would be their last night together for a long time.

He pulled her closer, pushing tomorrow out of his thoughts. Tonight was all that mattered.

_

* * *

And I will remember _

_Oh I will remember_

_Remember all the love we shared today_

* * *

Waiting for Mission Control to give his companions on the shuttle the go-ahead to start launch ignition, Larry found himself staring at a miniature photograph that he had taped to a miraculous free space on the shuttle's control panel. He was vaguely aware that his comrades were either doing last-minute checks of the equipment or looking out of the shuttle windows at the crowds below, searching for a beloved face in the sea of people who had turned out to watch the launch. He would be doing the same, but he knew that she wouldn't be there. She hadn't made her flight in time. 

Don would have kindly given her the time off to do so, but the fact was that the team had been handed a high-profile, high-stakes serial killer case mere hours before Megan would have need to leave in order to catch the latest flight from LAX to Houston International to be here in time for the launch. Her job could not spare her. She had called him, her voice calm, but breaking a little, when she explained the situation. He did his best to console her, telling her that he understood and that all he needed now was for her to remember her promise to him. She had sworn she would, and after sweet exchange of good-byes, let them both return to work.

Don had called mere minutes later, apologizing for the circumstances and promising to look after Megan while he was gone. Larry thanked Charles' brother for his thoughtfulness and told him that he had already been more than generous, letting Megan drive with him to Houston over the course of a week. When they hung up, Larry had turned his attention to pre-flight preparations, his heart immensely reassured that she would be taken care of, regardless of what happened in the next few hours.

In the photograph, Megan was in a simple white summer dress, her body relaxed as she leaned against the white picket fence post. Her wide-brimmed hat was in her left hand, which rested against her thigh and her right hand loosely clasped her left elbow. Her honey-colored hair was loose around her shoulders and her head was tilted at a coquettish angle as she smiled at the camera. He could still hear her laughter from that day.

Now, seeing her grinning at him, her eyes full of happiness and contentment, he allowed himself to recall their last moments together three weeks ago.

* * *

"_I love you," she told him quietly. Gently wiping away a tear from her face with one hand, he nodded and leaned over to kiss her gently._

"_I love you too," he murmured just as softly._

"_I know," she said, taking his hand in one of hers, their fingers naturally interlacing. They sat in a sad, yet comforting silence, both knowing that what was going unsaid didn't need to be said; they both already knew the answers in their hearts. She glanced at the digital clock on her dashboard and drew in a deep breath, "It's about time."_

"_Take care of yourself," he whispered, placing another gentle kiss on her lips, "Stay safe."_

"_I promise," she said just as softly, brushing her lips lightly across his cheek. With one last look, he slipped out of the car, their hands remaining linked until the last possible second. Yes, his heart most certainly belonged to her._

* * *

"Wife?" asked one of the astronauts, nodding at the tiny picture. Larry looked at the younger man who was smiling in a friendly way, and opened his mouth to say 'paramour,' but decided to tell the truth in his heart. 

"Soulmate," he told his companion after a beat of thought. "She's my soulmate."


End file.
